Why Daily Practice?

Recently I was asked why consistent daily piano practice is necessary, and particularly why parental involvement is needed to make sure it happens. Shouldn't the kids want to sit down and play on their own? Why do we have to force them to do it if they don't want to?

Kids Need Parental Encouragement 

Some kids will take to learning an instrument more readily than others, and of course an inspiring teacher can make a big difference! But it’s important to understand that if a kid isn’t motivated to work on their own, it doesn't necessarily mean that the piano isn't a good fit for them. Playing the piano shouldn’t feel like a chore, but off days are inevitable.  I myself had to be nagged by my devoted parents almost every day of my childhood to practice. 

It's just human nature to take the path of least resistance! How many kids, given the choice, would take a bath or brush their teeth every day? It's up to us to create the expectation of daily commitment, and then enforce it. Once it becomes routine, then maybe we can expect some independence and initiative, but not before. Kids are not great at consistency without parental involvement.

Piano is Old School 

In our digital and dopamine-seeking society, kids become accustomed at an early age to instant gratification. There are few opportunities for boredom and unscheduled time, and less incentive to stick with something that isn’t fun right away. Does anyone use yo-yo's anymore? Do kids still spend hours shooting free throws in their driveways or trying to flip their skateboards? I'm sure some do, but at this point they may be the exceptions that prove the rule. 

It's not that the piano has become obsolete; as most people who sign up for lessons understand, it offers a myriad of opportunities for learning and and personal enrichment. Playing an instrument is fun and rewarding, but…in a more traditional way. It's not as immediately accessible as tapping buttons on a tablet. The positive benefits last much longer, though!

Unfortunately, all our brains have been rewired by the tech bros to have less patience and shorter attention spans. In that sense, taking on the study of an instrument is a lot more challenging than it used to be. Having a supportive parent to cheerlead their child through the challenges will allow them to progress much further, like having a personal trainer for working out at the gym.

Get Your Money's Worth!

On a very practical level, without consistent practice, lesson quality suffers. I plan my curriculum with the expectation of at least 4-5 practices a week. When a student arrives less prepared than that, I can't challenge them the way I would normally, and since progress is cumulative, I can’t move them ahead either. Instead we have to review the material from the previous week's lesson, and it ends up feeling like a pretty big waste of time for everybody. 

But it's worse than that. It's a pretty universal given that people get anxious when they feel underprepared. So what do unprepared piano students do in their lessons? They make excuses. They noodle. They let their minds wander. They engage in far more conversational digressions than they would normally (adults are especially guilty of this.) And if the student happens to have ADHD, forget it. Likely the entire lesson is a sunk cost. 

Whatever the case, the person paying is quite literally getting much less value for the same money.  It’s also worth mentioning that the student will often feel shameful or guilty, blaming themselves for the inadequacy they feel, and this hurts their relationship with the instrument and the entire art form. I often hear from parents that they fear overcommitting will ruin their child’s relationship with music, that it will make them “hate the piano.” Actually, it’s the reverse that’s most likely: lack of commitment creates a lot of bad feelings surrounding the whole endeavor.

So What Do I Recommend?

My recommendations can be divided by age group.  For ages 6 and under, I highly, highly recommend that whoever will be practicing with the student sit in on lessons. The material is easy to follow at this level, so even a parent with no prior musical experience can pick up enough by watching to guide their child through practice during the week. And they will need this supervised practice. At this age, a lot of things we later take for granted are still in development. Fine motor skills are mostly not there yet. Reading and abstract symbol recognition are usually very weak as well. There is a basic sort of dyslexia, very common at this age, that tends to clear up later, resulting in a lot of reversals between left and right and symbols like 3 and E and b and p. They certainly don’t have the executive function to handle their own time management. While a few precocious kids can manage somewhat on their own at this age, all young children will benefit hugely from parental supervised practice, and for the most part it should be considered mandatory.

At ages 7-8, if the student is just starting lessons for the first time, sitting in on lessons and supervising practice is still a good idea.  If the student started earlier, some time between ages 7-10 is where they often start to reject direct parental involvement. At this point, a lighter hand might be necessary. It is still important to enforce a daily practice routine until the student shows the maturity to handle the responsibility on their own. I also recommend regular check-ins with the teacher to stay in the loop with goals and progress.

Once a child gets to the teenage years, they should mostly be able to do the work on their own, but at this point scheduling and time management become much more challenging. Considering that even adults have difficulty setting a practice routine and sticking to it, teens will need help figuring out how to carve out that consistent practice time. Sit down with them and pencil in all important events and deadlines in their calendar. Working backward, figure out a timeline for reaching important milestones in the learning process for each new piece. Make sure the goals and checkpoints are reasonable and clear, and leave extra time for setbacks and unexpected occurrences. Continue to keep up the regular check-ins with the teacher. As in any relationship, good communication is of the utmost importance, and it will help to see your teenager through the various stresses that come with this age.

Conclusion

If all this feels like an overwhelming, unreasonable amount of work, I understand! What I've outlined is a best case scenario that not every family will have the capacity to achieve. I can only tell you that it is possible, and I have seen the benefits firsthand. Conversely, the ones who weren’t able to put in the work got back relatively little from their investment. And piano lessons are not cheap!

Now, every child is different, and of course, the teacher must respect the wishes of each family and accommodate within reason. Nevertheless, decisions need to be made. It is up to the teacher to decide what minimum standard they want their students to adhere to, and it is up to the parents to decide how much capacity they have to support their children in this journey.

I think everyone understands that you get out what you put into it. Where there is some confusion, is the fact that you have to put in a certain minimum to get anything lasting at all.  Less than this and the most likely thing to linger, unfortunately, is a distaste for the whole experience, precisely because the satisfaction of competency was never attained. On the other hand, those who put in the work reap benefits that last a lifetime.

It’s a lot to ask of parents who are already overextended these days. But your kids will thank you later!